I took a round-about way through my college career, changing majors along the way and finally graduated with a BS in Medical Technology after five and a half years. I was offered three jobs after graduation and chose one as a generalist in a small lab at a fairly new hospital which was about a 45 minute drive from my parent's new home in Castile NY.

    For those who don't know what a medical Technologist does, we are the ones who test the blood, urine, stools, spinal fluid samples, and cultures for all the results the doctor needs to diagnose their patient's condition.

    Since our lab was small, we all had to take turns working weekends and taking 'call' which was from 4:30pm to 7am the following morning. We had to be within 20 minutes response time, so I bought a roll-away bed and slept in the clean-up room. There was an autoclave in that room and we always autoclaved our bacteriology media and cultures before throwing them into the medical waste, so it really added atmosphere to my sleeping arrangements!

      There was a woman, we'll call her Meg, who reminded me of my mom. Meg was my mother's age and offered to let me stay at her house when I was on call. She only lived five minutes from the hospital and it was a treat in comparison to the clean-up room. So, after she offered several times, I agreed to spend my time at her home when I wasn't working during my call time.

     Things seemed to be going well until I began to hear rumors that I wasn't a very good guest in Meg's home. This surprised me because I was very careful to clean up after myself and whenever I was invited to dinner I always helped do the dishes. Meg was so kind to me and persistant in asking me to come to her home and eat with them that I ignored the comments and just assumed they were mistaken somehow.

     The rumors continued and got worse. A lot worse. Although Meg was always so sweet to me, she was all but sweet behind my back. That clean-up room was starting to look better over time and I finally stopped going to her house during call time.

     The lies Meg told about me kept increasing and covered more aspects of my life from the terrible tech I was to my behavior and my love life (My husband was in Africa in the Peace Corps).

     I was the new kid in the lab so all the other lab employees listened to the lies and began avoiding me. Eventually no one would go to break or lunch with me. I was sick at heart and finally decided to resign my job. But I talked it over with my parents before taking any action. My dad advised me not to quit. He said that in time my co-workers would get to know me and realized that what Meg said wasn't true. He encouraged me to hang in there and eventually it would work out. I respected my dad's judgement, so I stayed.

     Time passed and it turned out just as my father had predicted. My co-workers finally realized I was not the person Meg had made me out to be.

     I was 24 when I started working at that small lab, and four years later I met Jesus Christ in a powerful way and gave my life to him. Linda, my friend, was working elbow to elbow with me in our new microbiology lab and she too became a devoted follower of Jesus. We were both so high on Jesus that I'm not sure our feet were on the ground.

     Meg apparently didn't like the change in Linda and began to shun her the same way she shunned me after I stopped going to her house. Everyone in the lab loved Linda and when Meg pulled her shunning act on her they turned their backs on Meg. Now no one would go to lunch or break with her.

     Linda and I wanted to share our faith with Meg, so we invited her to go to break and lunch with us. Since she really didn't have much of a choice, she reluctantly agreed to join us. We really didn't talk about Jesus much since Meg claimed she already was a Christian, but we lived our faith and tried to set an example. Time passed and the three of us seemed to get along.

    After being at the lab for about six and a half years, I went on maternity leave for my second son and took an extended four month leave. While I was out my supervisor called and said that he was probably going to have to quit because things weren't going well for him. I thought and prayed about the supervisor position and thought I might like to pursue it.

     I wasn't sure if I'd be any good at supervising the 12 to 13 lab people and running a lab, but I know that God knew. I prayed and asked God to open the doors if I should be supervisor and close them if not. The odds were definitely against me, but I applied for the job anyway.

    Meg discovered that I had applied for the position and set out to be sure it wouldn't happen. She went to the head of human resources, to the pathologist and even to the administrator. But in spite of all her negative press, I was given the job.

     When I returned from maternity leave, we had a new pathologist. A pathologist is the one who looks at the tissue from biopsies or surgery, as well as pap smears, and he advises physicians and oversees the quality of the lab tests done. As a supervisor I had two bosses, the pathologist and the administrator who oversaw the personell side of the lab.

     Our pathologist, Dr. K., was from Korea and was a very intelligent, kind man. He was reluctant to go to the cafeteria alone, so it got to be a habit that we went to break and lunch together and sat with whoever might be there. Dr. K. and I spent a lot of time together and we didn't only talk about work. Often we spoke of our families, past, hobbies, etc. We also spoke about Jesus Christ.

     My understanding of Dr. K's belief was that he thought that the Christian Bible was truth, that Jesus Christ was a good teacher and Dr. K. encouraged his family to be Christian. He was reluctant to accept Jesus himself because he was afraid that Jesus would call him into the ministry and didn't want to be a pastor. So it was great for his family, but not for him. Through our three years of working together, Dr. K. came to know of my deep and ever growing faith in Jesus Christ.

     During the first year of my career as the lab supervisor, Meg came to me and said she wanted to make a deal with me. She would take more weekends of work if she could stop taking call. Her age was causing her to have more and more trouble with the crazy hours required for call, so I discussed this with the other techs. They all loved the idea of having more weekends off and didn't mind taking more call. I decided that if we were doing it for Meg then we had to do it for another co-worker of the same age to keep it fair. All was agreed, and the changes were made.

     Things seemed to run smoothly and I brought the lab from a mess to near 100% compliance with New York State Standards.

     Meg continued to do a good job as head of hematology, but she was very disrespectful towards me. I probably should have fired her for it, but I was trying so hard to try to prove to her I was not the vindictive type, and I hoped she'd realize her need for a savior, but none of that happened. She continued to hate me and took new employees under her wing and pumped more of her lies about me into them and tried to turn them against me.

     When I had been supervisor for about three years, Meg went to a civics club meeting where there were several wives of the doctors who were on staff at the hospital. She proceeded to complain bitterly that I was so mean to her. She claimed I made her work more weekends than anyone else, and I was very unfair to her. The wives went home and told their husbands, the doctors, and the doctors all converged on Dr. K. They blamed him for allowing this terrible mistreatment of Meg to take place.

     I was called into Dr. K's office the following day. He began to scream and yell at me for lying to him. He told me that he never knew about the history of problems between Meg and me. He realized that I had been lying all the time and that Meg had been telling the truth all along and that I had been mistreating her.

     I was shocked and angered. Dr. K. and I had spent hours of time together. He knew me and he knew what I stood for. I was so angry at him that I'm sure my face was red from my rising blood pressure.

     He never gave me a chance to respond until his ranting went on for a good 20 minutes. When he finally paused, I said to him, "So, you believe that all Meg has said is truth and all I have said is lies?"

     He said "Yes!"

     I said again, "I'm going to say this one more time. You believe that all that Meg has said is truth and all that I have said is lies?"

     Again Dr. K. responded, "Yes!"

    "Then you and I have nothing upon which to base a working relationship and you will have my resignation today!" I said and turned and rudely walked out on him.

     I was so upset I was shaking and very near tears. I quickly wrote a note of resignation that stated I was resigning two months  from that date (this was required of supervisors or we would lose all of our benefits. I also couldn't just leave all my people in a lurch). I placed a copy of my resignation on Dr. K's desk -he wasn't there-, I put a copy on the Human Resources' manager's desk -he wasn't there-, and I put a copy on the Administrator's desk -he wasn't there-. I went back to my office and was so shaken that I decided I'd just go home.

     My assistant supervisor suspected that something was up and she came in as I was putting on my coat. She asked what was going on and all I could tell her was that I had just given my two month's notice and I was going home. I told her I'd talk to her on Monday as this was a Friday.

     It was a ten mile drive to my home and all of the way I was screaming at God:

    "Where are you?!"
    "Where is your power?!"
    "Satan won!"

     I had been faithful all those 10 years of Meg's torment. I had tried to be a good example to her of Christ in action. I had only done good by her, never evil. I believed in the scripture that says we are to pray for our enemies, and that we are to "turn the other cheek."

     I pulled into my driveway realizing that our house would soon have to be put up for sale. Dr. K. could prevent me from getting another job in my field since he belonged to a group including all the pathologists in the area. Without my income, we would not be able to afford our home.

     What hurt even more was the fact that my horse barn was under construction. It had been my life long dream to have my own barn and have my horses at home. The poles and roof were up on my wall-less barn and the dream was becoming a reality. Now that dream was being crushed.

     I had sold my horses when I had my first son, Michael, because he was so very sick. I had just gotten another horse and friends were keeping her until my barn was up and my fence was in. I'd have to sell her, so there went another dream.

     I pondered the loss of my career, my home, my horse, and my dream barn. I went in my house, pulled on my snow suit, and walked out into the woods behind my house, continuing to yell at God.

     How could he let this happen to me? Meg was a liar and only out to hurt people. I really felt that she was driven by Satan and he had won. I believed that God was greater than Satan and this didn't make sense.

     I walked through the woods to a ravine that dropped off a good 30 jagged-edged feet. It crossed my mind to just jump and end it all, but that thought lasted all of maybe a minute or two, and then my heart, knowing the truth of God in spite of my circumstances, caused me to cry out to Him to help me.

     My tears fell like rain and I remember lying down on a low limb of a tree that was parallel to the ground. Tears kept pouring from my eyes and snowflakes fell onto my face. I lay there on that limb for a while and then walked back to my half built barn. I sat down on the ground by the only inside wall that was put up to hold the power box. Tears just kept flowing as I recounted my loss that day and the feeling that God wasn't there for me in the way I believed he was.

     Then I heard God speak to me. It was audible to me, but I can't say you could have heard Him if you were there with me. It was audible and loud. God said, "Bonnie," he paused. "You said you would give up everything for me if I asked you to." He paused again, then added, "Will you?"

     I was stunned! It was true, when I asked Jesus into my like as my personal Lord and Savior, I did say I'd give up everything for Him. Now he was calling me to do it. This whole mess was a set-up. God waited till the dream of my youth was almost a reality, till my career was at its peak to ask this question.

     I sat and pondered this for about 20 minutes and finally decided yes. I'd be happier living in a tent, doing what God wanted me to do, than going on chasing my own dreams.

     God's timing is always perfect. This was a Friday and I had two days to think about my decision and internalize it and make it genuine in my heart and mind. I did adjust quite well, but my husband had a little more trouble. By monday morning, I was no longer a home owner, barn or horse owner and I was no longer the lab supervisor in my heart. I had given them all up. I figured I would go to work, sit down at my desk and Dr. K. would come in and yell at me to get out and I'd be fired. Once I was told to leave I would be free to go and still get all my benefits that I had built up over the past ten years.

     So, I went in and sat down at my desk and waited for Dr. K. to show up at my doorway. Dr. K. never came to my office, I always went to his. So when he appeared at my office door, I braced myself for another round of his angry words. To my amazement, the words spoken to me were kind. "Would you like to go to break?" he asked.

     I nearly collapsed in shock, but managed to say, "Ok." We went down to the cafeteria and found it empty. Not even a cashier was there to take our money, just an honor system. So we got a drink and a snack and sat down. If there had been people in the cafeteria, I doubt Dr. K. would have said what he did, so God's hand was clearly present as Dr. K. began to tell me that he discovered he had made a mistake. He apologized to me and asked me to continue on as supervisor.

     Apparently, while I had been yelling at God and asking Him where He was, He was very busy having people running into each other and spreading the word that something was up. They converged on Dr. K. and made sure he knew that Meg was a chronic liar and that she had tried to destroy me from day one. When Dr. K. realized the truth, he expressed his apology. So I stayed on as supervisor for another year until I took a Lab Supervisor job at a larger hospital. Meg was once again seen for who she really was and decided to quit a few weeks later.

     I learned through all this that our God is a jealous God. He will test us to see if we love Him more than our hopes, our dreams, our friends and family. We are always to love God first. The first commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Easy to say, hard to do.

     God really owns it all anyway. He lets us have things/pets/family/friends for a season. We need to keep the proper perspective. God is in control even when it doesn't seem like it. He uses situations to teach and/or test us. He doesn't cause our troubles, but he allows them. We need to be open to what God has for us to learn as we walk through tough times.